Okay seriously. I know those of you whom would normally connect with me on-line or I might call you [from Skype] think that I am making my inability to be re-connected to the modern world. Thought I would share my weekend with you.
As you may recall from my Sounds of Silence post on 30 November, I have been expecting my phone line to be activated on 12 Dec. This is a line-rental only agreement. I have my [satellite] television, phone, and broadband from Sky. Now I can't get my account transferred from my address in Bristol to London until I have my new telephone number. When I last called BT, they gave me my new phone number. What I should have done was called Sky on the same day, but I knew it wouldn't be easy, so I decided to wait.
Before I continue, there would be no point in me embellishing. Seriously. It would take too much effort.
Okay, I call Sky and connect to the moving house team. Yep, I've already moved and I have a phone number [this is call #1]. Okay, let's change your address. Done. Great. Let's change you phone number. Okay, it's [I'm omitting numbers since I'm on the World Wide Web] 0*00** 46 54 27.
I'm sorry. Could you repeat that?
Sure. 0*00** 46 54 27.
That's one too many numbers.
Oh. Maybe I have too many zeroes. Try this: 0*0** 46 54 27
Yes, that's fine.
Fine, what about my Broadband. Oh, well, we'll have to transfer you to Broadband technical team 'cause they have to do something to transfer this. I am transferred to the tech team ... and promptly disconnected.
Call #2: I call and connect to the Broadband technical team. At the beginning of the call, I plug in all of my personal information, account #, address, secret word, and so on. The techy got on and asked, have you changed your home number.
Yes, it's 0*0** 46 54 27.
Are you calling from that number now.
Yes.
That number is *****44 55 19.
I'm sorry? Can you repeat that?
Yes, the number you are calling from is ***** 44 55 19.
My home number? Can you see it?
Yes. Okay, well then we'll need to change that on my account, but that's not the number BT gave me.
Fine. I'll have to transfer you to the moving house team.
Great. I get transferred and I stay on the phone for 20 more minutes waiting, but there is not music, so I decide I have been lost in the system and I hang up.
Call #3: I decide to call from my home number to my work mobile so that I can verify the number. It rings. I hang up. I go upstairs to look at my caller ID on the phone.
***** 44 77 19
I call it again.
***** 44 77 19.
Rats!
Call #4: I call the moving house team because they clearly have the wrong phone number for the house which means NOTHING will work, cable, phone and broadband. I tell them that I've moved house and that I gave the wrong number and need to change it.
No problem. **** 44 77 19. Got it.
Now, can you connect me to whomever needs to transfer my Broadband.
Sure. I'll put you in the Que. They have to do something and then you'll be set up.
Fine......................................................... I hung up when my phone said I had been waiting 40 minutes.
At this point, I had a movie in the DVD player. I had a lot of time to kill. Needed something else to do.
Call #5: I call the Broadband technical team. They can't help me. My broadband account is still attached to my home number in Bristol. Did I call to cancel it?
I thought that's what I was trying to do.
We'll have to transfer you to the sales team so that you can cancel your account.
Fine.
The sales person confirms my address, my account number, and my password. Right. We'll just transfer your account to your new phone number. Hold please.
I turned the movie back on.
After 20 minutes, they came back and said that they had transferred the phone number, so now they are going to transfer me to the technical team to move my broadband.
After waiting in the cue for 1 hour, I hung up.
Call #6: I call the Broadband technical team. I was place in a cue. After 35 minutes, the message was cutting out ["thank you for calling Sky. We'll be with you shortly." Every 20 seconds]. I decided that I was not in the Que. The movie was over. I went to bed.
SUNDAY
Call #7: I call the moving house team, and I tell the [Scottish] guy that I made six calls the day before and was in two different cues for hours and I now have two problems:
1 - I changed my account details and now my satellite doesn't work; and
2 - I need to transfer my broadband.
Your TV doesn't work?
No. It worked before I called you yesterday to update my account.
Okay, hold on....and then I walked through a series of steps with him before he transferred me to someone to help me with my broadband.
The very nice Scottish man said he would wait with me in the cues to get my account changed. It now becomes clear to my WHY the cues are so long. The service team are in the cues with you AND they're not advanced to the front of the cue. They have to take their place in line like the rest of us!!!!! After 45 minutes, my broadband account in Bristol was successfully cancelled. I need to give a "quick call back in 10 days to have my new account activated".
I said, I've been on line for 45 minutes already trying to get to you. There is no such thing as a quick call.
Right. Is there anything else?
Yes, I have to call back in 10 days to transfer my broadband account [24 Dec].
Yes.
Why?
Well, that's how long it takes.
So, I've made seven phone calls and been on this one for nearly an hour and I have to call again?
Right. We need to transfer you now to the Sky Talk team [this is my phone line].
She does, and she stays on the line with me. Puts me on hold .... and then comes back. I need to call back in three days to complete the Sky Talk transfer.
Is that three days from when my new line started [15 Dec] or three days from this call [17 Dec].
Three days from this call.
Why?
Why what?
Why will it take three days?
It just does.
Lesson: two days. seven phone calls. three home phone numbers. four hours on the phone. I. MADE. NO. PROGRESS. Except that my satellite TV was interrupted and restarted! Argh!!!!
